Dear Past Me

Hello Earthlings,

I know that this is kinda weird for me to write a post to past me because I'm only 18 so I evidently still have a lot of learning to do but I also feel like from when I wrote a Dear Future Self post, which you can read here, I have learnt a lot. This isn't me answering my Dear Future Self blog as that clearly says Dear 21 year old Lia so we are just gonna wing this as it comes. 

Dear Past Lia,

As you sit here now you are still only 18, and you counted down to turning 18 for a very long time. In fact, when you were a lot younger you thought 13 was a really grown up age because you would be a teenager and obviously you would know everything. That is never going to be the case, at 18 you are still getting things wrong. You are also still having very stupid moments but your hair colour has always, and still, been blamed for that, "you can tell it isn't out of a bottle". The most grown up thing you have done since being 18 is going for an appointment at the bank, oh and you've bought screen wash. The novelty of buying alcohol has worn off as you still get asked for ID everywhere because you look about 13 on a good day. But, you're enjoying still being young and being able to make mistakes and you like to think you have your head screwed on pretty well.

I'm not sure how much of a past Lia I'm writing to here but I have a vague idea and I can tell you that everything that is happening right now will not matter in a couple of years time. You will hate yourself for being so naive and not wanting to hurt anyone because at this time you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. But a good thing to come out of this is that you are so much stronger than you were before so in a twisted way you can thank this experience for letting you know that you are never going to have to go through anything like that again because you eventually know your self-worth and you do start sticking up for yourself more. Even though looking back you are pretty lost and not knowing what to do for the best, trust me that it will work out okay. 

You had dreams of becoming a journalist around this age and you had everything set out to how you were going to go about doing this and well done you, you didn't give yourself enough credit. But scrap it all, because you still have a passion for writing and you'll still be rambling about everything to anyone but you don't end up doing a Journalism degree. Instead you opt for Psychology and you go into it with an open mind because although you know you want to do some aspect of psychology as a career, you actually have no idea what that career is going to be. But you're happy, you're happy plodding along and chilling in the library and then coming home and being all cosy. Oh and by this point you have had a job for a year now. 

Aside from all the general adult-y stuff you are doing good. You have accepted that things change a lot and you can't control these changes, you have cut a lot of negativity out of your life and in many ways you feel more like yourself than you probably ever have done so well done you. You're surrounded by the best support network you could ask for and you're starting to realise the kind of person you want to be. Oh and well done you because you now value your own opinion of yourself more than you value other's and I personally think that is pretty fab. 

You haven't got around to doing any form of exercise which isn't surprising as you've lied to yourself for about 3 years saying that you will but you're on your way. You eat healthier now and you enjoy cooking, allowing you to experiment with a variety of foods. But you will be the reason a new oven needs to be  purchased when Yorkshire Pudding goes slightly wrong. 

All in all, 18 and a half year old Lia is proud of how far you've come and is pretty happy. 

Lots of love,
Grown up Lia x 

P.S. I had no idea what sort of picture to use for this post so I'm just gonna do a little picture of me at my secondary school prom followed by me at my sixth form prom, I haven't changed a bit but I may have aged by about 6 months but in my mindset, I have. 

Thank you for reading all this random ramble, I truly appreciate you all. 

Until next week, 
Lia x